Sight Unseen: January 28, 2005

Continuing the Friday series of reviews of movies I haven't seen.

Alone in the Dark

In the department store of Hollywood, intertwining escalators of fame have landed Christian Slater and Tara Reid on the Alone in the Dark floor. Slater seems to be back on the ascent (still earning a living by impersonating Jack Nicholson though, now in a London production of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest), while Reid (much publicized implants and all) is on the way down (although AitD has to be a step up from the abysmal Van Wilder). Co-star Stephen Dorff is just happy to have been mentioned in two separate Bloody Knee Jerk entries.

Alone in the Dark is based on a 90s computer game, but judging from the trailers, it appears that a name is all the two share. The preview to the movie features the worst CGI monsters I have ever seen (and I've seen An American Werewolf in Paris). This is a shame, because the graphics and movements in the game were revolutionary at the time. The game was a supernatural thriller that cast the player as Edward Carnby, a detective investigating a haunted mansion. Alone in the dark, Carnby collected clues, solved problems, and avoided boobytraps (insert joke about Reid here) in order to escape alive. Maybe I'm being picky, but with two companions (and the military?), Slater as Carnby in the film version really isn't alone in the dark.

Somehow I don't expect the movie will feature a man in a Santa Claus suit beating demons back to hell with a frying pan.

Hide and Seek

Does DeNiro read scripts anymore?
This man used to be a Raging Bull. Now he's an aging fool.
Analyze that.