Of Snow Importance

There’s no business like snow business. And my place of employment is open for business today. Damn. I was so warm in bed before I made the following phone call to the receptionist.

Work: Good morning.
Jesse D: Hi. Are you open today?
W: Yes, we’re open.
JD: Is it a delayed opening?
W: A what?
JD: click.

Leaving the house was bad, but the walk to the subway was brutal: below-freezing temperatures coupled with inconsiderate jerks walking side-by-side on marginally-shoveled sidewalks. Pedestrians who hog the entire sidewalk without a thought to letting others pass infuriate me on days when the sidewalks are clear. On a day like this, I’m liable to start throwing elbows at couples walking side-by-side (when it is not a matter of physically supporting an infirm/unsteady companion). The most egregious offenders were the customers waddling out of Burger King. While cramming sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit sandwiches into their gaping maws, they blocked traffic and inconvenienced other commuters with their girth. Stop bunching (and munching) and walk single-file, dammit!

After getting around these obstructing individuals (I'd liken it to circumnavigating the globe, but that would be insensitive), the westbound train at the 8th Street station was delayed. The hum from the halogen lamps, the stink of piss on the tracks, and Jennifer Garner’s stare boring into me from an Alias advertisement made waiting to crowd into an already overstuffed car almost unbearable. When I first moved to Philadelphia, I guessed that SEPTA might be an acronym for Safe Efficient Philadelphia Transportation Authority. Nothing could be further from the truth with the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority, but my slogan might make a positive marketing campaign (SEPTA representatives may contact me through this blog to discuss my fees).

Even my grumpiness waned when confronted with the undeniable loveliness of Philadelphia in the snow, and the town’s exuberance for the Eagles going to the Super Bowl! The banner headline on this morning’s Philadelphia Inquirer says it all: “Finally!”