Sunday, April 23, 2006

Juicy, Junior, Real Juicy

Woke up this morning with a swollen uvula, which prompted a trip to the Emergency Room. The damn thing felt like a golf ball on the back of my tongue simultaneously blocking my windpipe while also triggering a gag reflex.

This is the second time my uvula's tried to kill me. The first was about 4 years ago when I had an allergic reaction to Foster's beer (Australian for death).* Unlike that trip to the ER, I wasn't admitted to the hospital today. After an IV,** a dose of steroids, and a prescription for more steroids, my uvula shrank enough that I could swallow water, and I was discharged. Look for me to hit supernatural 500-ft home-runs and tarnish the national pastime this week. Juicing!

*I think I've made that joke about a thousand times, probably on this blog somewhere.
**Speaking of IV (as in the number 4), there's something about a fourth album that causes bands to ditch creative titles. Godsmack, whose album titles really aren't that creative to begin with, becomes the latest band to title their fourth album "four" (even though All Music Guide lists IV as their sixth record--that's a lot of mediocrity). Other bands taking off for the fourth: Cypress Hill, Stone Temple Pilots, Led Zeppelin (not really slacking as their first 4 albums were numbered), Seal, Blues Traveler, etc. While Coheed and Cambria's Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV sports a large "IV" on the cover, it is their third official release. 10-4, good buddies.


Friday, April 21, 2006

Mixed Bag

Holy Shit! Kudos to SEPTA for their handling of the closure of 15th Street station due to a fire earlier today. Riders who normally disembark at 15th for the free transfer to the Broad Street Line were forced off at 13th Street where they were greeted by SEPTA employees at EVERY turnstile and exit directing them to the free Orange Line interchange. I admit to being hard on SEPTA (deservedly so, I think), but they handled this situation well.

Earlier this month disgruntled Phillies fans showed restraint when SEPTA distributed chocolate "tokens" to riders taking the subway to the Phillies home opener. It's OK to take candy from strangers if they're wearing a SEPTA smock. As far as I know, no one jammed a "token" into the turnstile even though they were marked "Good for One Fare." Perhaps they recognized that the gesture would have missed its mark: the employee who would have had to clean out the slot wouldn't have been a SEPTA manager or policy maker.

On the down side, this eye sore has been blocking the subway entrance at 34th and Market for more than a year with no sign of any progress or work taking place. It has essentially become a trash playpen for broken beer bottles, crushed cans, a sneaker (left foot, size 11), and various debris.

This week it's become a cup holder. There are no signs indicating who's to blame for this fiasco, but inquiries are being made.


Thursday, April 06, 2006

Didn't I Just Blow Your Mind, Again (Aussie Edition)

Following up on my last post, I received the same chain e-mail about the time and date aligning to 01:02:03 04/05/06 from an Australian friend with British spelling and a minor change. Down under (and pretty much everywhere that isn't the United States) the date is written day/month/year. So, if you slept through the aligning of the stars in the U.S. on April 5th, head to some other country to catch the "momentous event" on May 4th.

Thursday the 4th of May , at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

Everybody say, "huh, that's kind of interesting" and go back to sleep. 01:02:03 04/05/06 is the new 4:20.


Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Didn't I Just Blow Your Mind?

On Wednesday of this week, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again.

The tidbit above came from a chain e-mail my aunt forwarded to me. Obviously the creator of the e-mail (presumably not my aunt) is short sighted. Unless he/she is privy to some end-of-the-world cataclysmic information, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06 again in 3006, 4006, 5006, etc. Maybe the author meant to write "That won't ever happen again in your lifetime."


Monday, April 03, 2006

Play Ball!

It's Opening Day 2006, and the St. Louis Cardinals are in town for their only visit of the season. I miss the days when the Cards would match up against the Phils and Mets for more than two series. Those rivalries produced some great baseball (particularly Cards vs. Mets), but I guess the geniuses at MLB thinks interleague games against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays are more exciting. Enough on that though, it's a new season and the Phillies have a new slogan...the Cardinals old slogan: Red Means Go! Real original, Philadelphia. The Cards retired that slogan in 2006 (it served them well the past 3 seasons) in favor of a slogan that touts the new Busch Stadium: Welcome to Baseball Heaven. There's no way the Phils could ever claim that slogan for their own.

I am off to the game this afternoon to duck beer bottles thrown at my head, and to watch the reigning Cy Young Award winner (Chris Carpenter) and National League MVP (Albert Pujols) square off against the 2005 NL Rookie of the Year (Ryan Howard). Can some baseball guru tell me when (or if) that has happened before in an Opening Day game? Let the Ryan Howard trade rumors begin (a la Schmidt, Schilling, Rolen, Burrell, Abreu).* The Sillies Phuck!**

Go Cardinals!

*The Cardinals already have a pretty good 1st baseman, but Abreu in the outfield would be sweet, and it sounded like a distinct possibility for the Redbirds to make the move this past off-season. Even if Abreu’s best days are behind him (as many so-called experts claim), he’s still a dynamic player with sound defensive skills and a good bat. But if the Phillies faithful would rather have another Bud Smith, I’m sure the Cardinals can find one in their system. Actually, to be fair to Bud Smith, he did throw a no-hitter as a Redbird, and it was pretty damned exciting to watch (on TV). Not sure why the Philadelphia dis-Cards are still listing David Bell as the starting 3rd baseman when they have Abraham Nunez (Nunez is listed third on the depth chart behind Bell and Alex Gonzalez).

**Maybe it was carrying a sign with that phrase into Veterans Stadium that prompted the beer bottle thrown at my brother's head a few years back.