Live 8-Ball

OE 800 declares itself the official malt liquor of Live 8!*

PHILADELPHIA, PA: In a natural merger of marketing and corporate sponsorship, the Miller Brewing company has declared its intention to make Olde English 800 the official malt liquor of Live 8.
In a haze of intoxication, spokespeople for OE released this statement, "The brew, long known as 'the cadillac of 40s' is a uniquely portable (and potable) beverage that fits snugly in a classic brown paper bag wrapper."
Advisors to Philadelphia Mayor John Street stopped short of endorsing the beverage since it's not brewed in the City of Brotherly Love, but were quick to welcome donations from corporate sponsors. The mayor added, "Drink responsibly, kids."
Approximately 1 million fans are expected to clog the Ben Franklin Parkway on July 2nd for the event. Retailers in the area have already doubled their orders for 40s. One area merchant declared, "I'm clearing out the dairy case and loadin' up on liquor. This weekend the milk teat is goin' dry. Who wants milk on a hot summer day? I just hope I have enough paper bags."

*Not really, but I'll be swiggin' the 8-Ball on the Parkway, cuz when you're donating your money to charity (as I am), you have to be economical in your beverage selection. That's where the 40 comes in.