Welcome to the 20th Century, Asshole!

I got a cell phone on Monday.

Things I plan to do with my new phone.
1. Have an obnoxiously loud conversation on the subway.
2. Same as above but substitute "street" for "subway".
3. Talk while taking a leak at a Phillies game.
4. Answer it while in a meeting at work.
5. Take a call during a movie.
6. Download "Holy Diver" ringtone.
7. Drunk dial.
8. Forget to charge it.
9. Forget it at home.*
10. Drop it.
11. Lose it.
12. Repeat.

*Accomplished #9 today.