Sight Unseen: March 4, 2005

Continuing the Friday series of reviews of movies I haven't seen.

The Pacifier
America loves to laugh at muscular men in domestic roles. Or at least that's the rationale behind such cinematic crapfests as Kindergarten Cop, Mr. Nanny, and now, The Pacifier. How many times will the stereotype that a man can save the world with a gun but can't do housework be played for laughs? Even the high-brow, highly-original concept of Vin Diesel getting hosed by baby piss while changing a diaper is more demeaning than hilarious. Further derailing The Pacifier as a comedy is Vin Diesel's lack of a sense of humor (about himself or anything else). I saw A Man Apart last weekend when it was on Starz. That movie sucked ass, and I'm predicting similar sucking from The Pacifier.*

Be Cool
Is there a better jackass in Hollywood than Vince Vaughn? The man has made a career out of being annoyingly loveable (Swingers, Made, Dodgeball, Starsky and Hutch, Old School). In Be Cool, he's the foil or nemesis of John Travolta's Chili Palmer (or so I gleaned from the trailer). As a fan of Get Shorty, I'm hoping Be Cool as a sequel is more akin to Godfather II than Speed 2 in terms of quality.

The Jacket
Adrien Brody and Keira Knightley get more than they bargain for after shopping at the Burlington Coat Factory.


*Note added 3/7/2005: America likes to suck. The Pacifier was number 1 at the box office. It just goes to prove my theory that kids will watch anything and parents will pay a lot of money to pacify their kids. No doubt The Pacifier's box office muscle was boosted by theater-bound birthday parties, and it was the only PG movie opening this week. Robots will kick its ass next week.