Mass Transit

SEPTA, our sorry excuse for a public transportation system, has just unveiled a new marketing campaign. I'll leave it to others to question the timing of this expensive new ad campaign in the face of a potential strike on October 31. I'm going to question the campaign itself.

Philebrity had an entry on the ads about a week ago, but it wasn't until Friday that I came face to face with the slogans. The first two ads put the pun in "mass transit" as they both revolve around food and eating.

"This is an eatin' town, and I'm an eatin' man."
"There's no debate. It's called gravy, not pasta sauce."

For years I wondered where the "there" was in SEPTA's old slogan, "We're Getting There." Now I know "there" meant the fucking food trough. It explains everything. Why did that bus fail to stop to pick me up? Because the driver's an eatin' man and he was too damned hungry to stop.

SEPTA: Call us incompetent; don't call us late for dinner.

Dubbed the "Genuine Philly" campaign, SEPTA's website translates the intended message of the ads: "SEPTA is the driving* force and fabric that holds the Greater Philadelphia region together." If SEPTA's holding this town together, then Philly's in a shitload of trouble.

Trading cards based on the ads are available at SEPTA sales locations and feature coupons for Reading Terminal Market, which make them more valuable than David Bell's baseball card.

*Oh those punny bastards.